Parent Savers

What is the purpose of life guard training or of CPR training? As much as anything, it's to have a plan in place that works. It's not so much that CPR will not work if you get off a beat or two - but that you have a plan. Parenting children is much the same way. Every child is different... every plan has to be custom made, however, these words still stand true, "By wisdom a house is built, and through understanding it is established; through knowledge it's rooms are filled with rare and beautiful treasures" (Proverbs 24:3).  Don't allow the rush of life to squeeze the joy of rearing children out of your heart.

Start with the end in mind.  Where as an Artist can visualize the end of a piece and put in place the actions needed to create the vision - parenting is more like a game of chess - someone else is playing. In Parenting there are things over which we have control - and things we don't. While we can't control genetics, things our kids will be exposed to, and especially their will, we can control the kind of parent we are. Having  realistic end in our minds is crucial - or we may try to achieve to much or that which is impossible - setting ourselves up for failure from the beginning.

"... being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus" (Philippians 1:6).

Our goal is to cultivate the ground of the heart. There is a natural progression in our kids from birth to when they leave our homes of the picture of control. It's a tricky thing. There's an idea, and then there's the reality.

For us to truly prepare our children to deal with the adult world, we must affect their hearts. Sometimes parents are content to affect 'behavior' without affecting the heart. It takes both.

Why Worry about the Heart?
There are a bunch of reasons... here are a few:

1. The heart is a wrestling place. We want to help our kids learn to think the way God wants them to think. Jesus asked the teachers of the law, "Why do you entertain evil thoughts in your heart?" (Matthew 9:4).  All of our teaching and training, discipline and encouragement is wrestled with in the heart. If we neglect to affect it, the world will not neglect to affect it.
2. The heart is the place of commitments and determination. The greatest commandment according to Jesus is to "love the Lord your God with all your heart" (Matthew 22:37). Jesus tells us where everything that matters begins.
3. The heart is where we feel close to others. Neglected by many of today's parents is this important sentence in Acts 4:32, "All the believers were one in heart and mind." having affection for God can't be separated from having affection for God's people.
4. The heart is where we experience emotions. Peace is not something many people possess. Peace can seem to be only a dream when raising children. However, Paul admonishes us with "Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body, you were called to peace. And be thankful" (Colossians 3:15). Fear, happiness, sadness, anger, love, peace... are all things that connect in our soul, our heart. There's probably nothing more missing in kids than gratitude - or more important that we teach them.
5. The heart is where temptations and desires develop.  We can set our priorities, or our desire for treasure on the things of Christ (Matthew 6:21) - and when we do so it is from our hearts. The temptations our kids face come from Satan but are based in the heart. Dealing with temptation starts with the heart.

There's lots of good reasons to work on our kids "hearts" in preparing them to live as adults. The plan must include this knowledge - what we see (behavior, expressions) is connected to what we can't see (their thoughts, emotions, and motivations). Beginning from birth we create a foundation to help our kids learn how to respond to God.

The plan is to teach our kids how to respond to God. In the future, we will consider how to do that.

Note: In addition to the Bible, I used thoughts from The Parent Life Saver by Dr. Todd Cartmell and Parenting Is Heart Work by Dr. Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller.

Starting October 3!

I'm so excited about our Parent Zone coming up October 3. It's a chance for parents of younger children to get together while our kids are in Discovery Club - 9:30 on Sundays.  This is an opportunity to get to know other parents of young children, enjoy a Bible lesson together, talk about stuff we deal with and pray.

Our focus is on helping our kids respond to God every day... and that's a pretty awesome job! I'm looking forward to seeing you in room 113 on October 3 at 9:30.

I'll post what we are up to and how things are going here in the future.